What if I was normal

What if I took the rest of my Zoloft? I easily have 15-20 left...that would do the trick. I could take it...my parents are sleeping, so no one would find me until morning. It wouldn't be gruesome. Just incredibly tragic. But I would be out of all of my pain and misery. It's not selfish. It wouldn't be painful. Sometimes I wish I didn't have these thoughts. What if I was normal?